IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ EVERYTHING

Uhm, first of all, i'm trying this new fur style and i'm pretty happy with how it looks so far.

Second, i'm changing the name "Aquapaw" to "Aqua", i finally noticed 'paw' doesn't have anything to do with her and that i don't like it. (Well, my username will still be 'AquapawtheCat2017' until a miracle happens and i get a Core somehow.)

Third, i changed Aqua's design, and i actually love the new one. I finally drew her the way i always wanted her to look like, and she looks more like a cat too, well, at least more than what she looked like before, on my other style.

Fourth, i have decided to take art more seriously from now on, i usually draw just for fun but, art IS and will always be my thing, and i'll be following as an artist/designer. This is really what i want to do, i can't think of anything else i would ever want to do profissionally one day if not drawing.

Fifth, i, uh... PROBABLY won't draw with the style i drew, like, 2 deviations ago. I kept with that style for a long time even if i improved with looks and everything, but i'm kinda tired of that style and i might go on with the one i tried.

Since two years later i started drawing i already had decided i would be a designer, but the stuff i draw since that time is just... Childish..? I'm too childish too, i like being kind and talking to others on i would say is a 'relaxed' way. Sometimes i say stuff i don't mean, i'm sorry for that, if i ever sounded rude, i'm sorry too. I say 'what', 'why', 'omg' and 'lol' A LOT, and i'm not joking when i say a lot. I really DON'T want to sound like a 8-10 years old silly girl. I want to sound like 13, my age, i want to do stuff on a normal way, not on a silly way like i've been doing. I laugh about, like, everything -isaylikealottoogosh-, things were basically too bad for me and my mom the last 3 years and i was drowning in the middle of so much going on. I seriously was ok, until the 7th grade. I started being the silly me you have seen till now, i started laughing about everything and i was being rude with others who told me how i was acting like they were 'venting' about my actions with me because i thought they didn't accept me for who i was. I really thought i was that silly, wants-to-be-funny-all-the-time girl... I was. I felt really bad when my best friend abandoned me, we were friends since i had joined that school, for three years, we were best friends, i don't know exactly if i did something wrong.. I.. Really don't know.
I felt betrayed when she trusted a girl she knew for 5 months more than she trusted me... And now i don't know what a 'friend' means anymore, i'm just too afraid i'll be yelled at for being who i am, being called things i'm not because of how i look like, being alone because of who i trusted the most left me to be around someone they knew so little... Being called a kid by everyone but ONE true friend that was the only one who understood me and was there all the time, was she happy or sad, she was always there for me, she didn't abandon me for anyone else, neither did she abandon me because she was having problems at her home.......
I want to change... So badly... I want to be someone that others enjoy spending time with, talking with. I don't wanna be someone that others walk away from. I don't wanna be alone, i want to have friends, true friends. I want to have a likely personality, one that i won't be called "annoying", or "childish" for my acts. I don't wanna be rude with anyone. I'll try to accept their opinions on me the best was possible and use them to build myself up, to be someone better, maybe someone that others will look up too. I'll really try, i'll try very hard, so that i can be the real me, someone that others won't have a bad thing to say about.
Anyone but my mom ever really told me nice things about my drawings, my "friends" laughed at me because i liked to draw ponies and they said it was a little kid's show... And i improved all by myself. Even if the stuff they told me about my drawings pushed me down, i continued, for fun. I remember like it was yesterday, when i was on the 3rd grade, everyone was rude with me, i was nice to them and they treated me like trash, like i had something contagious, like i didn't have feelings, and everyday, when i got home, i started crying and i wouldn't stop until i was totally tired of crying so much... I usually just stopped after 1:30hours of crying or more. My mom was always worried and i always told her i didn't know why i was crying, it was true tho. But today i know.. I was feeling lonley, ignored, i was feeling like i was nothing to anyone and that i would always be alone. I still am... These 5 months of new school, i was alone, ignored and called rude things... I still don't know how to deal with that totally, i just laughs when others call me things, but deep inside it's like my heart was being shattered. So i'll change. I'll try. Even if very slowly, i will change.